Discovering Myself through My Relationship

Today my partner and I celebrated 6 months together. While I am aware it is still early in the game, I want to share about how I discovered myself through this relationship so far.

 

Dating in my late 20s is undoubtedly different than when I was in my early 20s. I am turning 30 years old this year and I am already a woman of my own. My upbringing and previous experiences, both the good and the bad, made me who I am today. That said, it is a challenge in itself to find someone who is able to meet me halfway while at the same time he, himself, is already a grown man on his own.

 

I curated 5 things I discovered about myself through my relationship:

 

1. My partner compliments me instead of completes me. In my previous relationships, I had this constant need to be with somebody to feel complete. But once I realized that everything I need is within myself, I see my relationship with other people - including my partner - differently.

 

2. I am able to love my partner but not to the point where I put him first before myself. Younger me tends to put my partner first because I thought that is what love was. But now I realize, I cannot love anyone if I don't love myself and take care of myself first.

 

3. We are two different people who still need personal boundaries. And that’s okay.

 

4. I still feel secure even when my partner is not around. I am able to still be creative and do my own things without worrying about him.

 

5. The thought of losing him does not scare me. I know it sounds crazy but knowing that I am already complete on my own and have survived life’s challenges even before I met him really calms my anxiety and the outcome is, our relationship has been very healthy as I am not co-depending on him.

 

I am so grateful to have met Sam when I did. Not too early, not too late. Just right. He has found himself, through his previous experiences.

 

We probably would not end up together, if we met in our early 20s. Kudos also for him who constantly puts up with me!

 

I am excited to discover myself more through this relationship.

 

To Samuel Holland, for many more days to explore together..